How have you been?

It's been an age since the last time I saw you. I'm still recalling how the scene happened in Estuary, down to the smallest movements I made at the moment. I was sorry, but no longer in my lexicon as I realized I didn't do anything wrong. We weren't in a relationship, so I had the option of going out with anybody I wanted. That night in your car, I could see anger in your eyes, you were outraged at what I had done. Your words didn't seem to make any sense, hurting every inch of me.

You had already planned a three-day escape in Jogja, but I ruined it, of course. It was when you texted me to say that you'd be flying back to Singapore the next day after the fight. It's over now.

I had no clue that you'd change to a totally different person, never be the same as the person you were the first time I met you. You uploaded some Instagram stories doing things that were impossible for the old you to do. I used to blame myself for what you had done. But, the decisions you chose were never mine, it was always yours.

I've never felt sorry for everything that happened between us, and I never will. It was a little bit awkward the first time we met since you kept dealing with your Sundaness accent, it was cute though. When you mentioned that I needed to lower my ego to sort out my tangled web of friendship, I did appreciate it because it meant a lot. I do remember the clumsy me who got mixed up between the HLP airport and the CGK airport, made you wait for me and almost missed your flight. I'm grateful for the times we laughed together, your encouragement toward anything I chose in my uni life, and the time and energy you spent on me. I will just keep them as good memories.

You said that we have to make a deal with our past, so here I am. It is better to be ended rather than to be left in limbo. I hope you will do well on your way. You're 24 and I trust you to make the right decision for yourself.